Retirement is often thought of as the time to finally kick back, relax, and enjoy life after decades of hard work. It’s portrayed as a golden age, free from the pressures of a career and the demands of raising a family. While this may be true to an extent, the reality is that retirement can be a period of mental, physical, and psychological adjustment. I see it as a second adolescence.
This comparison may seem odd at first; adolescence is for surly teenagers whose parents “don’t get it”, but there are definite similarities. Both involve significant transitions, both come with their challenges, and both require you to reimagine your role in the world.
1. A Shift in Identity
One of the most striking similarities between adolescence and retirement is the need to redefine your identity.
In adolescence, you transition from being a child to becoming an adult, trying to establish who you are and where you fit in the world. This can be confusing, and for many, it takes years to figure out their role and purpose.
In retirement, you may find yourself in a similar position. For years, your identity was often tied to your career and your role within your family—whether as a provider, a professional, or someone in a position of status and responsibility. Once you leave the workforce, those familiar markers of identity can fade away. Without a job title, daily routines, or work-related goals to guide you, it’s easy to feel a sense of loss or even irrelevance. Many retirees ask themselves, “Who am I now that I’m no longer working?”
Even if you spent much of your time as a caregiver for a parent, at the point at which that need stops who do you become? You will suddenly have more freedom but how do you use that time? What does your daily purpose become?
The answer, just like in adolescence, lies in embracing this opportunity for reinvention. Retirement gives you the chance to explore new hobbies, deepen your relationships, and find meaning outside of work. This shift can be disorienting, but it’s also incredibly rewarding, allowing you to redefine who you are on your terms. No longer will you introduce yourself as a ‘lawyer’, ‘business owner’ or ‘insert the job you had’ but someone who is enjoying new opportunities in life. As opposed to being ‘retired’.
2. Emotional Ups and Downs
The emotional rollercoaster that defines adolescence is another feature shared with retirement. I remember the mood swings I would force upon my parents as a teenager driven by hormonal changes, the stress of growing up and understanding my place in the world. While retirees don’t have to deal with adolescent hormones, they do face their emotional challenges.
Retirement can trigger a range of emotions—from joy and excitement about the future to anxiety, loneliness, and even depression. The loss of daily structure, a sudden increase in free time, and the lack of purpose that some feel after leaving the workforce can all contribute to emotional turbulence.
It’s common for retirees to feel isolated, especially if they have lost touch with their former colleagues or if their social network was built primarily around work. These stresses can lead to relationship conflicts as you and your partner adjust to this new life phase.
Adjusting to this new emotional landscape can take time, but just like in adolescence, these feelings don’t last forever. Building a support system, sharing your feelings, staying socially connected, and finding activities that bring joy can help mitigate these emotional ups and downs.
3. Physical Changes
Both adolescence and retirement come with notable physical changes. During adolescence, the body goes through a dramatic transformation, from growth spurts to hormonal shifts. In retirement, while the changes are not quite as rapid, they can be equally significant.
As you age, your body might not work the way it used to. You may find yourself dealing with health issues you never faced before, from arthritis and joint pain to high blood pressure or decreased mobility. The physical decline that accompanies ageing can be tough, particularly for those who were once active and healthy.
The key is to adapt. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, and a focus on well-being can help you stay active and independent for longer. Just as teenagers need to learn how to navigate their growing bodies, retirees must manage their changing physical abilities. Regular check-ups, staying physically active, and engaging in low-impact activities like walking, swimming, or yoga can go a long way in maintaining physical health.
4. Rebuilding Social Circles
Social life during adolescence is fraught with challenges as teenagers attempt to form friendships, and sexual relationships, navigate peer pressure, and find their tribe. Retirement brings its version of social reshuffling.
When you retire, your social network often shifts. Colleagues, once a central part of your daily life, may fade into the background. You might find that friends and family members are still busy with their careers or lives, leaving you with fewer people to spend time with.
This is a common experience for retirees, but much like adolescence, it’s a time to forge new connections. Joining clubs, taking up new hobbies, volunteering, or even going back to school are all ways to meet like-minded people. In her book, ‘How to Retire: 20 Lessons for a Happy, Successful, and Wealthy Retirement‘, Christine Benz explains that in retirement you don’t need lots of connections, just a handful of people you are close to.
5. Planning for the Future
During adolescence, there is intense pressure to plan for the future, whether it’s choosing a career, a university, or the kind of life you want to lead. In retirement, planning for the future requires a different focus with different priorities but planning is still necessary.
Instead of thinking about career paths, you’re more likely to be planning for financial security, health care, and how to make the most of your time. Financial planning becomes crucial, as you have to manage your retirement savings and ensure your money lasts throughout your later years. Much like an adolescent planning their future, rather than just letting it happen, retirees need to be proactive about the next phase of life.
However, in retirement, it’s not just about long-term plans—it’s about living in the moment. Many retirees find that focusing on meaningful experiences and nurturing relationships takes precedence over material concerns.
6. Embracing Change
Ultimately, both retirement and adolescence require you to embrace change. For adolescents, it’s the transition into adulthood. Retirees shift from a life defined by work to one shaped by personal fulfillment and newfound freedoms.
In both stages, the unknown can be daunting, but it’s also filled with opportunity. Retirement is a time to use the freedom you have while you are active enough to enjoy it. There’s a certain freedom in shedding old roles and stepping into a new version of yourself. Just as teenagers eventually find their way, so too do successful retirees.
Adolescence and retirement are bookends on either side of a long career and family life. Both require you to let go of what you knew before and adapt to a new reality. While some struggle with both transitions, acknowledging that both are just phases can be the secret to success in itself.
If you want to discuss how you can plan for your fulfilling retirement contact me.
