Retirement is often painted as the golden phase of life, a time to travel, take up hobbies, learn new skills, or tick off the ‘bucket list’. But what happens when retirement doesn’t match those expectations? Many retirees experience a sense of guilt for not doing what they feel they “should” be doing. However, true fulfilment in retirement comes from living life on your terms, not based on societal pressure or others’ expectations.
The Pressure of Expectations
A client I recently spoke to had been retired for two and a half years. When we reflected on that period, she admitted that her expectations of retirement were quite different from the reality. Like many others, she had gone through a phase of feeling she ought to do certain things simply because that’s what society suggests retirement should look like.
She initially thought she should join a book club, learn a new language, or take up gardening because those are the typical retirement activities. But over time, she realised she didn’t want to do these things, and, more importantly, she didn’t need to feel guilty about that.
Your Retirement, Your Rules
For some, retirement might mean travelling the world. For others, it could mean spending more time at home, enjoying a slower pace of life. Some people find joy in picking up new hobbies, while others prefer to continue doing what they’ve always loved. There is no “right” way to retire.
This particular client had friends who were embracing different retirement activities, and at first, she felt she should be doing the same. But she eventually arrived at a liberating realisation:
If I want to do something, I’ll do it. If I don’t, I won’t. It’s up to me.
Finding Fulfilment on Your Own Terms
The most important thing is to define what a fulfilling retirement looks like for you, not what society, friends, or family suggest it should be. If you feel content and have a sense of purpose, whatever that may be, then you’re doing retirement “right.”
You might already be at this stage, confident in your choices and unbothered by outside opinions. Or perhaps you’re still in the early stages of retirement and feeling the pressure to tick certain boxes. If that’s the case, I hope this offers some reassurance: You don’t need to live up to anyone else’s expectations.
Letting Go of Retiree Guilt
Guilt has no place in retirement. You’ve worked hard to get to this stage, and now is the time to shape your life in a way that makes you happy. Whether that means staying busy or simply enjoying the freedom to do less, the choice is yours.
So, if you ever find yourself wondering, Should I be doing more? Take a step back and ask, Do I actually want to? If the answer is no, then let go of the guilt. Enjoy your retirement your way.
If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you felt retiree guilt? Or have you always been comfortable making your own choices? Let me know.
Photo by Debbie Tea on Unsplash
